Darwin Awards 2005

[Aaron_Robertson]

A laugh and worth a read....was for me anyway

I recieved these in an email.(All true stories)

1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James

Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the

barrel and tried the trigger again.

This time it worked.....

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerlandlost a finger in a meat cutting

machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his

insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of

ts men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a

finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car

during a blizzard in Chicagoreturned with his vehicle to find a woman

had taken the space.

Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus

driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be

transporting from Harareto Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit

his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered

everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers

to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very

excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.

The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious

head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he

received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying

to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the

counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,

the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,

which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the

clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount

of cash he got from the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at

you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansasguy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided

that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window,

grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it

over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the

would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor

store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on

videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New Yorkconvenience store, a man

grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the

woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.

Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in

the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of

the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he

replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a

Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and

demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't

open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered

onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The

man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked

on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.

Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to

a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the

man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose

into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it

was the best laugh he'd ever had.

[Guest tv tanned]

I thought Darwin Awards were all about ironic and stupid deaths, rather than amusing circumstances?

[Aaron_Robertson]

Nae sure man, First time ive heard of it!

[MattJimF]

I thought Darwin Awards were all about ironic and stupid deaths' date=' rather than amusing circumstances?[/quote']

It is

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome

by honoring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways.

Of necessity, this honor is generally bestowed posthumously.

taken from the front page of www.darwinawards.com, that email sounds like it's just dumb luck still funny though.