Moose Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 People who can’t live with their friends must have the worst friends. If my mate was being a dick/disgusting/not paying bills on time, I’d call him a cunt and beat him with frying pan until he acquiesced. Its maybe why I don’t have many friends. My current flatmate is of the “but I don’t make any mess” paradigm – which is obviously bollocks – so I call him a cunt and point out that he’s 28 years old, and should know better, until he yields. He’s a cunt about it, but we still like each other. Similarly, if someone is buying 2-for-1 pizza and storing one in their cupboard, its maybe worth pointing out that that’s not normal behaviour. Just tell them it’s weird and gross, and they’ll stop. Neat freaks are almost as bad as tinks though. People who get uppity when you don’t clean your breakfast bowl or leave the toilet seat up. Admittedly, I was a bit of a tink once upon a time, and my idea of tidy now maybe wouldn’t satisfy another’s, but I keep a clean kitchen and bathroom and make very minimal mess elsewhere in the house. It bother me that people would get upset by magazines being left on the coffee table, or a half drunk glass of water – you know, minor mess. I come from a messy family though, so maybe it’s an upbringing thing. Maybe minor untidiness was unacceptable in other people’s family homes. Anyway, my advice to someone who constantly has problems with their flatmates would be to be an adult about it and reasonably suggest that they should maybe clean up their shit, in a calm and polite manner. If they don’t do it, call them a cunt. I also find suggesting someone is not acting their age (i.e. “you’re 25, why can you not clean up after yourself”) works a dream.My other flatmate at the moment never cleans up his poo marks from the toilets. I said: “wanna clean up your poo, there, Chris?” and it has sparkled ever since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 People who can’t live with their friends must have the worst friends. If my mate was being a dick/disgusting/not paying bills on time, I’d call him a cunt and beat him with frying pan until he acquiesced. Its maybe why I don’t have many friends. My current flatmate is of the “but I don’t make any mess” paradigm – which is obviously bollocks – so I call him a cunt and point out that he’s 28 years old, and should know better, until he yields. He’s a cunt about it, but we still like each other. Similarly, if someone is buying 2-for-1 pizza and storing one in their cupboard, its maybe worth pointing out that that’s not normal behaviour. Just tell them it’s weird and gross, and they’ll stop. Neat freaks are almost as bad as tinks though. People who get uppity when you don’t clean your breakfast bowl or leave the toilet seat up. Admittedly, I was a bit of a tink once upon a time, and my idea of tidy now maybe wouldn’t satisfy another’s, but I keep a clean kitchen and bathroom and make very minimal mess elsewhere in the house. It bother me that people would get upset by magazines being left on the coffee table, or a half drunk glass of water – you know, minor mess. I come from a messy family though, so maybe it’s an upbringing thing. Maybe minor untidiness was unacceptable in other people’s family homes. Anyway, my advice to someone who constantly has problems with their flatmates would be to be an adult about it and reasonably suggest that they should maybe clean up their shit, in a calm and polite manner. If they don’t do it, call them a cunt. I also find suggesting someone is not acting their age (i.e. “you’re 25, why can you not clean up after yourself”) works a dream.My other flatmate at the moment never cleans up his poo marks from the toilets. I said: “wanna clean up your poo, there, Chris?” and it has sparkled ever since. You would have all hated living with me and the 7 other people in my house. It was bad but we got along pretty well. We had one neat freak and she wasn't very popular in the house. Standard thing for her to do was waltz in the living room, stand in front of the tv and say right we are going to clean up now. That didn't work especially if it was Friday. Why the fuck would you clean up on a Friday? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Jack Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 People who can’t live with their friends must have the worst friends. If my mate was being a dick/disgusting/not paying bills on time, I’d call him a cunt and beat him with frying pan until he acquiesced. Its maybe why I don’t have many friends. My current flatmate is of the “but I don’t make any mess” paradigm – which is obviously bollocks – so I call him a cunt and point out that he’s 28 years old, and should know better, until he yields. That's some remarkably verbose abuse there..."Acquiesce, you cunt!! Don't give me that old paradigm - you're 28! YIELD!!!" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 Fight cunt with cunt. Like scissoring. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 I moved in with two very good friends just over a month ago. So far so good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 I found that putting someones manky dishes in their bed quickly sorted it out. I still remember my old flatmate begging a girl to come back with 'I don't know why my pans are in my bed!" "They're your pans? They are fucking minging!" Nothing dampens the mood more than a pan with 3 day old noodles stuck to the bottom of it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 You all need to chill out, worse case scenario keep a few clean ones in your room, I have had some messy flatmates myself included. At first we had a whoever fills the bin so much the pile falls takes out the rubbish, then it just turned into a mountain of rubbish around the bin. I also had a flatmate who tried to flush his boxers down the toilet. He knows who he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 That story was never confirmed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 If someone has left dirty dishes a bit too long then tell them and ask them to wash up. Then they will.Surely this would always work if the people in the flat are normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonie Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 You shouldn't need to. And when you do, the dynamic in the flat changes. It sounds simple, but it never works out that way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 Being direct to shit housemates is rubbish. "Do your washing up" "Pay the bills now"... Waste of time. You want to be passive aggressive and psyche them out until they FEAR you. Turn off the boiler whilst they shower and await the screams of WHATTHEFUCKKKK. Put their small, portable possessions in the freezer. Pop a broom handle under their bedroom door handle so they are held captive to think about what they have done. Keep changing the wireless passwords so they can't get online. If you are to cross in the hall, don't move to the side. Infact, make yourself appear even bigger until they have to crawl through the tight space between your outstretched leg and the wall. Then spit on them. You won't have to worry about them muckying your plates anymore, because they will have moved out pretty sharpish. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 You're all assuming that these people will do what is asked of them... I started piling up that cunts dirty dishes at his bedroom door when he left them lying about, he happily let them build up until there were no dishes left. I would have put them on his bed, but he was clever enough to lock his door.You could point out to him how gross his behaviour was and he'd just make an excuse then go hide in his room. He once cut his pubes into the bathroom bin, then put the scissors he used next to someone's tooth brush. HE HAS GONE NOW YAAAAAAAAAAAAY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 Telling he's being gross is all well and good, but did nobody ever floor the cunt and step on his neck? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 I think you should be the replacement agony aunt/uncle for Dear Deidre when she pegs it Soda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 Pet hate - girls saying one thing is gross, then sucking dick.pube scissors next to toothbrush - grossitching your balls and sniffing - grossnot washing your hands after you piss - grosssucking a dick? Aye, why nae. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 weirdest post 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 Pet hate - girls saying one thing is gross, then sucking dick.pube scissors next to toothbrush - grossitching your balls and sniffing - grossnot washing your hands after you piss - grosssucking a dick? Aye, why nae.Sweet Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 Is that an actual pet hate, or have you just not said anything mental for a while? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 http://www.buzzfeed.com/donttrusttheb/14-passive-aggressive-roommate-notes-5h77 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 I mean really, where the fuck did that come from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 One minute dirty dishes the next JakeBassists disbelief of women willingly taking part in oral sex. Unbelievable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 I mean really, where the fuck did that come from?slutbags moaning about the pube scissors.I realise if they were ON the toothbrush it'd be more an issue of spacial awareness and personal boundaries. But if they ain't even touching, nothing to worry about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 slutbags moaning about the pube scissors.I realise if they were ON the scissors it'd be more an issue of spacial awareness and personal boundaries. But if they ain't even touching, nothing to worry about. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 Jesus fucking christ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 It's not a disbelief that girls like giving it a sook. Not at all. It's just double standards. Pubes next to toothbrush is horrid. Cock and pubes in yer mooth is a-okay.And, before anyone says anything about "its her choice to put it in her moo" see what i said about them not touching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.