Lemonade Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Pet Hates: People in airports, and i mean ALL people. For some reason, airports turn regular folks into total bell ends. They can't use the self check-in service; they take fucking ages to empty their pockets in security only to forget the giant belt buckle they're wearing; they push to get on to the plane; they sit in the wrong seat; they take ages to find their passport at customs control. I get so wound up that my angry mumblings inevitably evolve into loud swearing. I take about 2/3 return flight a month and i fear the journey every time.What I hate is when the plane lands and everyone jumps up to queue at the door and wait for it to open. Just sit down and wait your turn you cunt. I've flown into a lot of cities and Aberdeen is the only place where people jump up and stand at the door and don't just get off the plane in order of how close they are sitting to the door. I also get annoyed when you get to the gate pre-take off and people get up and queue for it as soon as it opens. Like, somehow you're going to leave the tarmac quicker than I am when I sit and read a book until the queue goes down and get on the plane last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonie Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 I agree with that last bit - can't be arsed standing in a queue when I could be sitting reading Viz in a comfy chair. There are enough seats for everyone, you shower of dicks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 What I hate is when the plane lands and everyone jumps up to queue at the door and wait for it to open. Just sit down and wait your turn you cunt. I've flown into a lot of cities and Aberdeen is the only place where people jump up and stand at the door and don't just get off the plane in order of how close they are sitting to the door. I also get annoyed when you get to the gate pre-take off and people get up and queue for it as soon as it opens. Like, somehow you're going to leave the tarmac quicker than I am when I sit and read a book until the queue goes down and get on the plane last.That is a universal thing I find. A very stupid universal thing. definitely not just Aberdeen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Yeah, what the fuck is up with people being desperate to get on the plane? I generally wait until the last call before I put my book away and walk towards the gate. I fucking hate queuing, though. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Plus, you jump up and queue for ages to get on the plane first, then you just have to sit on the plane and wait for everyone else to board anyway. Whats the point? We're all leaving at the same time. Go and get a cup of coffee and wait for the queue to go down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeno Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Probably people wanting 'good' seats. I love window seats no matter the form of transport. Plus their is always the risk you are last on the plane and end up sitting next to some unsavoury/smelly character who makes your journey rather unpleasant*.I've gone through 3 hour megabus journeys on the verge of vomiting because of this.*I'm sure others consider me as this person:eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 You've got reserved seating on most planes though. Except Ryanair and Easyjet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paime Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 What I hate is when the plane lands and everyone jumps up to queue at the door and wait for it to open. Just sit down and wait your turn you cunt. I've flown into a lot of cities and Aberdeen is the only place where people jump up and stand at the door and don't just get off the plane in order of how close they are sitting to the door. I also get annoyed when you get to the gate pre-take off and people get up and queue for it as soon as it opens. Like, somehow you're going to leave the tarmac quicker than I am when I sit and read a book until the queue goes down and get on the plane last.The only good thing about getting on the plane earlier is that you get a better choice of where to put your hand luggage. Totally agree with you on getting off the plane. I normally take an aisle seat and i take great plessure in not moving until it's my turn, thus angering the two people next to me who can't move until i do. It's the little things in life... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Nothing wrong with cramming onto the plane ASAP before all the hand luggage space has been hogged by folk who are clearly taking the piss. I also always seem to have to do the whole "You're sat in my seat" "No I'm not" "Yes you are. Here's my ticket" *waits for the seat-stealing dickpile to get his ticket out of the very bottom of his hand luggage just for him to say "Oh yeah, sorry". That's mostly on trains to be fair, but the same applies.Get on early. No fucking about.Though obviously if it's unreserved seating, you pile in as quickly as possible to park your arse in the best possible seat. It's war out there. No compassion. Some little 5ft rotter will get dibs on the emergency exit seats with the cushy as fuck legroom, and won't stop and offer me their seat, since I'm 6ft6 and usually have to put my legs in the aisle as the normal seats are designed for children and pensioners who had their knees blown off in the war. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoney_stu Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Pet hate : Queue jumping Norwegians in Airports... also people who turn up at check in with large hand luggage and expect to get away with it... cheeky cunts...also why dont FAT people get charged extra for flying? one nightmare flight I was stuck next to a seriously obese person who was so huge I was crushed up against the side of the plane... I complained to the airline ... but got fuck all in response ... plus he smelled bad as well...Even just thinking about this has given me stress ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Though obviously if it's unreserved seating, you pile in as quickly as possible to park your arse in the best possible seat. It's war out there. No compassion. Some little 5ft rotter will get dibs on the emergency exit seats with the cushy as fuck legroom, and won't stop and offer me their seat, since I'm 6ft6 and usually have to put my legs in the aisle as the normal seats are designed for children and pensioners who had their knees blown off in the war.On aeroplanes is one time when it definitely pays to be a short arse. Ever fly globespan? Even I felt like the Big Show trying to squeeze into one of their tiny seats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 I certainly do envy the sub-6-footers on aeroplanes, trains and buses. The priority seating (which has super cushy leg room) is always for elderley people. Why the fuck do they need that sort of room? It should be for massive people like me, and the Big Show and Kareem Abdul Jabar. We gotta travel too y'know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeno Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 You've got reserved seating on most planes though. Except Ryanair and Easyjet.I've never been on a plane with reserved seating! Budget airlines ftw. I seriously need to do some travelling. Going to Ireland in July will be the first time outside of the UK since I was 2.... a mere 21 years ago. Pet hate = only being abroad once, when I was so young I can't even remember it. My childhood was full of envy of those whose parents could afford to take them to Disneyland and other exotic places every summer!On a similar travel related note: Since I haven't had a passport and will be applying for the first time (think I went so Spain back in the days when Children could fly on their parents passport) I need to go for an interview in either Glasgow or Edinburgh to prove I am not a terrorist or something like that. As a result I keep putting it off as I rarely have time to do that during the week when the centre is likely to be open.Though obviously if it's unreserved seating, you pile in as quickly as possible to park your arse in the best possible seat. It's war out there. No compassion. Some little 5ft rotter will get dibs on the emergency exit seats with the cushy as fuck legroom, and won't stop and offer me their seat, since I'm 6ft6 and usually have to put my legs in the aisle as the normal seats are designed for children and pensioners who had their knees blown off in the war.I have to get my mate to go to the Unsane gig. He is 6'8 and has legs that are like stilts. May make you feel a normal height! A guy a couple of years above me in medicine who is now a junior doctor was 7' tall. Someone said he was so tall he is eligible to claim some sort of disability allowance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest E.C Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Kareem Abdul Jabar.He's in the cockpit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 An interview to get a passport? How long has that been happening? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeno Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 An interview to get a passport? How long has that been happening?Since 2007 for first time adult applicants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Last time I checked in at Aberdeen airport, the group of four guys in the queue before me had SIXTEEN fucking suitcases to check in between them. SIXFUCKINGTEEN suitcases. Cheeky shitrags even triend to contest the extra charges involved.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paime Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 I have two passports so i don't have to exhibit my Western-friendly stamps when visiting the middle east and some African countries. I didn't have to have an interview to get my second one, just a letter from my company explaining why it was needed. Fuck going to Glasgow for an interview.I once had to get a Visa for the USA and had to go to London for the interview. I was sitting in the waiting area (which easily held 500+ people) and a guy came and sat next to me. He was wearing full camouflage military clothing with black boots and one of those German cold war jackets. I didn't see how he got on but i can state with a fair amount of certainty that he had fuck all chance of getting a visa that day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Are you Jason Bourne? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 I don't get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 I had to have an interview for my passport during the brief window when there was an office in Aberdeen right on the harbour. It was absolutely mental. It was like speaking to someone from the future in Demolition Man. A hypnotic amount of politeness. Except the receptionist. Apparently I sat in the wrong seat in the waiting room... The place was fucking empty. Total bat.It was all creepy weird. I had to talk about what debts my parents had, and where they went to school. No idea. They also wanted to know if I knew the names of theprevious tenants of the flat I lived in at the time. Fuck sake. I just want a book with my picture on it so I can open a new bank account and buy beer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 I don't get it.Camouflage. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 I had to have an interview for my passport during the brief window when there was an office in Aberdeen right on the harbour. It was absolutely mental. It was like speaking to someone from the future in Demolition Man. A hypnotic amount of politeness. Except the receptionist. Apparently I sat in the wrong seat in the waiting room... The place was fucking empty. Total bat.It was all creepy weird. I had to talk about what debts my parents had, and where they went to school. No idea. They also wanted to know if I knew the names of theprevious tenants of the flat I lived in at the time. Fuck sake. I just want a book with my picture on it so I can open a new bank account and buy beer.I remember having to go to that office too. Took me a while to find it. Who the hell has an office next to the bloody harbour, that isn't in the fish or ship business? Stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paime Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 Are you Jason Bourne?I've been told i look like Matt Damon from when he got fat for that film. Other than that we don't share any similarities, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 A guy a couple of years above me in medicine who is now a junior doctor was 7' tall. Someone said he was so tall he is eligible to claim some sort of disability allowance!I know that kid. Ally? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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